Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The pursuit of ridiculousness, the mampee factor and P90X

I am a lazy bitch. No seriously, I am. If I could stay in my bed every day till I felt like getting up you probably would not see me before noon. I dont even take calls before 10am. So it goes without saying that any form of structured exercise program is difficult for me to maintain. Long time readers would know about my attempt at getting my body to a level of 'ridiculousness' which just means that I don't just want to have an 'good' body , I want a ridiculous body. As in.."Damn she is so hot , its ridiculous".

Sorry to say, I seem to be slipping in the opposite direction of ridiculousness and moving dangerously closer to the mampee zone. And for those who missed the derivation of the 'mampee factor' theory on the c-box recently, let me explain. I think everyone has a weight level to which they are accustomed. Be it a Size 4 or a size 10. Anytime we get out of that comfort zone, say anywhere from 10 pounds or more from your baseline weight, clothes start fitting different and you actually start feeling different in your skin. Herein lies the mampee factor....which is by definition (cause I say so),:

Mampee factor: The weight at above your average baseline weight at which you personally start to feel insecure about your weight gain and/or feel like you have lost control of your weight management and henceforth classify yourself has a mampee.

By this definition everyone has a different 'mampee factor'. I think the consensus was in the range of 30-50 pounds over the weight that you have been for most of your life. However there may be some ppl who feel like a mampee after gaining five pounds and yet there are ppl who may never get the mampee syndrome as they are completely comfortable at all weights. In some cases, people may 'reset' their baseline weight and hence reconfigure their mampee factor. For example, when I first went to university I was 111lbs. At that point I don't think I was even aware of how meagre I was because I was so accustomed to being that way. After one semester I was clocking nearly 130lbs. I was not overweight but certainly much heavier than I had ever been in my entire life and in my opinion was turning into a mampee.I eventually settled back into the 120-125lbs range and have been stuck there more or less for the past 10 years or so. I actually preferred how I looked at that level and therefore my 'normal' weight went from 111lbs to 125lbs. So for me to be in my mampee zone at that point it would be in the 30+pounds from 125lbs and not 111lbs. By extension, if you have been 140lbs all your life you may not feel like a mampee until you reach over 190lbs or so. I think every individual has there own benchmark in their head when they look in the mirror and don't like what they see anymore.

People like me who have been slim most of their life and classified as a 'skinny (lazy) bitch' are not immune to mampee factors. In the past two years I have moved 1-2 dress sizes up and currently have a hard time getting into some of the clothes that I have, particularly pants. Believe me when you have popped the zippers on two pairs of jeans in one month, you start to feel like a mampee, REGARDLESS of your size.I apparently let myself go a bit since last Carnival.

So I decided enough was enough and I needed to take action and get back in form before the dreaded mampee factor got me. (and before I was at the point of no return). I realised that I was starting to lose muscle tone and I needed to do more than just 'lose weight'.I am famous for purchasing DVD fitness programs and never sticking with them. As a lazy bitch I don't like to get up in the AM to workout and when i get home I just want to eat and sleep.Then I came across P90X. This has been one of the best selling fitness programs for quite a few years for men and women who want to be 'ridiculous' and has the reputation to be hard as *$#@! What first interested me in this is the theory it is based on which is 'muscle confusion'. Basically by doing exercises in a certain order and changing it up regularly your body never experiences a 'plateau' stage where its used to the work outs and gets less effective. The program is also an extensive 12-part series of disks that I thought might help me from getting bored. The program promises a complete body makeover in 90 days and includes a meal program to manage your weight and ensure that you are getting the right nutrients and the right phase/fitness level . It requires six work outs per week! What I also liked is that it includes weight training without bulky exercise machines and I have very limited space at home to work out. Also it has a Yoga DVD which I have never really tried before. In addition, they provide lots of resources online for motivation , nutrition and coaching. Just to start the program, they include a fitness test whereby they recommend you try another program if you can't pass the minimum requirements. I wasted no time in getting myself a copy .

So the copy sat in my house for about a month while I assembled the necessary 'equipment' and did more research. Ok ok , I just procrastinated more. I used the fact that I did not have a pull up bar as an excuse even though I had the equivalent exercise bands. Then i had to get supplements which I wanted to get someone to bring for me from overseas (cause they a bit pricey here).Then i had to find time to read the meal plan. I also managed to squeeze in the read of another book called "The new rules of lifting for women:How to lift like a man and look like a goddess" .This is by far one of the best exercise books I have ever read and dispelled a lot of myths about weight training for women in a way that makes perfect logical sense. Click the link to take a read off of which lets you read almost the entire first chapter.This book also has it own meal and weight training plan for a tamer weight training program. Then I realised I did not have a heart rate monitor which I absolutely had to get!No, not really, but thats what I told myself. So after getting everything, with the exception of the pull up bar, I ran out of excuses. Then I went back to being plain lazy and not having time and not eating right cause of my hectic work schedule. Then I just had an epiphany and got sick of myself and my sheeeet. I just "PRESSED PLAY" and "Bring It!"as the P90X guru Tony would say. I am now on day 3 of my P90X program and should finish just in time for Christmas. Its not as scary as I expected, the exercises are all actually pretty simple. I actually was wondering after my first two workouts how something this basic once a week per body part is going to get me where I want to be. With that day only hurts when I BREATHE. My plan was to give a run down of my experience with the different dvds but I feel that have to wait until I pass week 1, round 1. That is if I even survive! The website has a wealth of information for those who want to jump on the band wagon. But be warned.. this is NOT a workout for the faint of heart.


Legz said...

Great post CJ!!!! Get out of my head (lol)!!! It's like you and I are the same person. I am also a "skinny 'lazy' bitch"!! Well I used to be skinny as I have also gone into my mampee zone per your definition. I'm getting a copy of the P90X soon and I can't afford to procrastinate b'cos time is short. Good luck to you and I look forward to your updates.

Triniprincess said...

You need to start a "lazy heffa" club. I started out the year great, started working out with a GREAT trainer. Never loved working out, but he kept me motivated and wasn't trying to hear my whining. After 6 months of working out 3x a week(which is the package I purchase), I lost 15 pounds and 21 inches - mostly in my legs and hips which was my focus areas (didn't want to lose my twins ; )

It has been 2 months now since my program ended and I'm supposed to be maintaining. I continue to eat the same (for the most part), but went on the scale this weekend and I was back up 10 pounds WTMC!!!

Well truth be told I haven't worked out a LICK in at least 5 weeks - well there we have it. I'm my own worst enemy. I come up with excuse after excuse (and with the help of the cbox) I bypass working out every night with the promise of doing doing it "tomorrow".

Well frontline costume waiting for my arse this February, so I got up THIS morning and said to myself (I hope I wasn't telling myself lies) that come Monday morning I am rejoining the gym because OBVIOUSLY I can't be left to my own devices.

Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted

Goddess said...

Amen sister!!! As a skinny bitch myself I sooo identify. Not in my mampee zone yet, but it's only a matter of time if I don't do something soon. *knock on wood*
I have the original Power90... gonna jump back on that wagon soon.
Best of luck to you!

ms. hershey said...

So, where's the update? LOL yuh still doing the P90X or yuh pop dung? Enquiring minds need to know! I've put myself on a routine of 3-4 days at the gym weekly and have been true to it for the last month and-a-half. I figure, I've got about 3months and a few days before carnival so I'd better take advantage of the time and get it in gear. Plus, I HATE dieting so it was time to get my metabolism back up and make it happen. I'm sore as hell today but I'm seeing the results in the way my clothes fit and so far, I've lost 4lbs. which is great. I'm on track. You stay on track too madame, wid yuh damn 125 lbs. STEUPS!!! LOL!

buublenut said...

How is your workout going. Not sure if you know but they changed the procedure to get into spion classes at Ling Circular.....and I think it works out better....

Onika K said...

i am you. you are me. this is uncanny. i'm about 20-25lbs above my fighting weight right now and i feel every lb of it, but i am SO LAZY! i don't do early morning and work tires me out so much i just want to eat and sleep and watch tv when i get home. i have a pilates ball IN MY ROOM...haven't touched it. i gotta do SOMETHING

Carnival Jumbie said...

Girl if its only a few times a week you hadda start somewhere. Sometimes just eating better helps. I doing things real halfway right now