Saturday, March 17, 2007

Dutty Wine Gyal

So I get a chain up and end up in the 51 degrees (again) last night. It seems March is turning into an entire month of celebrations of my birthday. Anyhow, one thing I have been a bit suprised about is how the song 'Dutty Wine' is still being killed on the airwaves both in the club and on the radio. Ok its a nice song with a nifty dance but its time it died a natural death. I'm kinda sick of it now. I really thought that Carnival would have killed it. It is very difficult for any dancehall song to survive Carnival, especially when there is a season with a monster hit like Machel's Jumbie. Nonetheless, Dutty wine has reared its head as strong as ever.I thought Vegas' Hot wuk would have killed it since it gives ppl another dance to do.But no, now they play them back to back so after you dutty wine you can hot wuk (or vice versa). I am kinda hoping Shaggy's song will kill it but I think girls like to dutty wine too much for that to happen anytime soon.It does not help that Shaggy mentions dutty wine in his song as well.

As we all may have heard Dutty Wine has been attributed to several deaths in Jamaica. I say attributed because it has not be confirmed that it was actually the dutty wine itself that did them in. Now being that the dutty wine is a rather suggestive dance I have not really been inclined to perform as such in the dancehalls of T&T. This does not take away the fact that I know HOW to dutty wine. My b/f is also one who would prefer I don't get on like a skettel in the club and in light of the possible health risks, he would prefer I don't attempt it at all (unless of course its a different type of dutty wine). For some reason he seems convinced that I would be the 'freak'accident dutty wine death of T&T. However, give me a few drinks in my head and the urge to dutty wine becomes quite pronounced. I have managed to control the urge somewhat and might just give one head roll in jest. Trick is if you do either the head roll or the wining portion separately you are not really dutty wining.So if you just wine or just do a gentle head roll no one really believes you are seriously dutty wining.Now this also goes for the people who just can't dutty wine period. Its a great way to fake it.

Now I saw a few ppl in the club doing the dutty wine. Some did it well some were funny as hell (hey that rhymes!). It amazes me that people are still so vigorously into demonstrating their dutty wine skills especially when most of these people are a more uptown crowd. So whats my point?Nothing really, I just felt like talking about dutty Actually I really wanted everyone to be aware of the dangers of dutty wining. For your entertainment please visit 'Dumbass Dutty Wine' to see how not to dutty wine. Please watch entire video.I have also given this person the honour of a Pookie award for Ass of the Day.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Cricket Confusion

I doh know if allyuh take in that Opening Ceremony of the 2007 Cricket World Cup.Now I was kinda bunning out the whole event because as much as I love cricket,I hate the prospect of what is going to happen this week. (more on that shortly).I doh know who tell me watch that opening to get me more irritated with the whole occasion.All I hear is Machel performing and I get excited. If you did sneak a peak,you are most likely wondering the same thing as me. Since when Jamaica is the ONLY island in the Caribbean?

Seriously though, the entire ceremony was like Jamaica Heritage Festival or something. A slew of Reggae artist after reggae artist after dancehall artist after reggae artist. I mean I love Buju and Half Pint as much as the next reggae fan but I was really sick of seeing the producers of the show shoving Jamaica down our throats.UMMM in case they forgot, its the WEST INDIES team playing in the world cup not Jamaica. If they wanted to slant it that way, they should get their own blasted team. (Might I also point out that the majority of the team are TRINIBAGONIAN)

Doh get me wrong,I love Jamaicans, in particular Jamaican men.LOLOL Seriously though I have many friends from Jamaica and even on campus I was perplexed as to why they seem to always feel the need to prove their dominance among the Caribbean nations. There is always this Trini vs Jamaica war , which to me has always been perpetuated by Jamaicans. Cause honestly, Trinis doh care who better than who, they love their country and doh business bout anybody else. But still Trinis ignorant too, yuh can't diss a Trini and expect them to keep their mouth shut.They might just tell you about yuh mudder.

I think the whole West Indies should be offended that they blatantly excluded almost ALL the other countries. Ok so I finally see a little soca segment happening. I see Alison Hines rolling it. But I realise she roll it for all of 30 sec. But I hear meh boy Machel piping up in the background. Well my b/f thought I was a madwoman cause I GET up out my chair and ready for mas again and ready to jumbie dance.Buh I telling yuh...doh laugh. So Machel come out very dapper proving why he get a Pookie award from me.He sing he two line from Alison song and then start on he own tunes. Well he must be sing two line from "one more wine" and one line from "higher than high" and then what? ARROW the man who sing "Hot Hot Hot" come and jump on the stage. Ok, cool, give the man he little end. You could tell me how they could have Machel Montano, the King of soca singing back up for stinkin Arrow. I sorry but I always thought that song was CHEESY. But I waiting to jumbie dance still, I eh sit down yet. All of a sudden everybody just run off the stage and its a next reggae artist. NAH ! NO JUMBIE? With all that fancy Minshall ting from AC5 ? No jumbie!!!

I was annoyed but that was still pretty early in the show before the other 10000 reggae artist. Ok Ok so we getting to the end. They have a Carnival segment! Oh gosh! Jumbie!Jumbie! Well I see a set of ppl come out in Carnival costume which frankly I would not be caught DEAD in. I was relieved to hear the costume came from St.Lucia or somewhere not Trinidad. But why it have a man singing soca and leading these people around the field and I never see him before in my life. Ok so they over plug Jamaica, I eh saying to plug Trini more. But lets get real, soca eh come from Barbados or Grenada.It come from Trinidad. Trinidad soca artistes have the best sales out of all the soca artistes in the Caribbean.So they might not have ask Bunji to bun out all the Babylon but they could have get somebody cookie cutter like Kees and Nadia to sing "My land" ent? Ditto for the Carnival Costumes to 'represent' each West Indian country. I eh see Trinidad own yet but I was real disappointed with what was there as 'St.Lucia's contribution'. Again, lets not fool ourselves, St.Lucia eh have a clue about Carnival. I actually doh even like the idea of other West Indian carnivals because its basically orchestrated. It is a tourism gimmick to make money on (white)people head.Trini carnival has very deep roots in HISTORY,culture and tradition.Its not about who Carnival better than who eh..imy point is the fact that Trinidadians did not wake up one day (this century) and say "AYE LEWWE HAVE A CARNIVAL NAH".Go Grenada and find me a midnight robber nah.Yuh could hardly find any in Trini these days. At least they bring some King and Queen from Trini Carnival 2008.Which of course just made the other costume slook even more shitty.

Well since it having Carnival on the field they HAVE to bring back Machel right? I mean they bring back Buju! Well David Rudder come on...Not bad, Machel had to be the finale. David pelt out High Mas which was THE most moving performance of the entire ceremony and Rita Marley could get vex all she want for me saying so. You could tell me why in Jesus name they did not have David sing 'Rally round the West Indies'? Wait nuh is not CRICKET we opening here? How that make ANY sense. Ok so they give Faye Ann, Rupee and Shaggy a bly to sing this world cup's theme song. Again what Shaggy purpose was in that song I doh know. But everybody know Rally is the cricket anthem. Just like Soca Warriors is the football anthem no matter what TTFF say or Chris Garcia feel(Deutschland. were they serious?!). Them is the songs in the heart of the people. What is the point of bringing DAVID RUDDER to a CRICKET function and having him SING but he doh sing RALLY? STEUPS.

Well I was cussing shortly after when I realise the ceremony done and I still eh Jumbie dance.WTF!!That show was so balatantly biased to Jamaica it was ridiculous. So what nobody else exist except Jamaica? I mean it was an INTERNATIONAL event broadcasted worldwide. No wonder the rest of the world feel that Trinidad and Barbados is part of Jamaica. I almost thought so myself.

So we reach the prospects of what happening this week. I going and real cuss for that TRAFFIC.Cause if yuh living in Diego yuh HAVE to pass in the environs. The poor business places cussing cause no traffic can pass in their area and they losing business. By poor I mean the pie man by the Oval whom I notice put up a sign outside saying "ICC:International Cricket Criminals". I was so mad yesterday when I read a letter in the bacchanal papers (Tnt Mirror) from a man in SOUTH who find the businessmen should not get on so for the traffic restrictions. He find they should cool it cause its such a great opportunity for the country blah blah blah. I want he to move to Diego for the month. He living in South, he obviously doh have ANY clue what does go on around that Savannah on a daily basis, doh talk for when it "rain", when it "have bomb in town", when it "have hurricane". STEUPS if he even go through that shit ONCE he go understand why people vex.I sure I go have a story for allyuh come Wednesday. Is best I walk down the road and take in some cricket too yes.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

TRIBE Carnival 2008

Allyuh excited yet? Well I most certainly am. According to Saucy and one of my own links the theme for TRIBE 2008 is "Myths and Magic". Well I am hoping that they are going to keep it real and stay true to Trini Myths and Magic!! and include some locally themed sections.I doh want to be a stinkin' fairy although I am sure other people would want to be.I however would LOVE to be a La diablesse. So for those of you who eh know about the history of Trinidad's Myth's and Legends , you need to get this book that I reccomended in the post "Freshwater Yankee Books". It's called "Folklore & Legends of Trinidad and Tobago" and has descriptions of the major folklore tales of Trinidad. I have already indicated how much I love this book just for the traditions and culture it continues to pass on to younger generations.

So if this was my band ( which it isn't) I think my section line up( in no particular order) would be something like this:

La Diablesse

Pirates of the Caribbean


Fairy Maids

Papa Bois




Mama D'lo

Obeah Woman


My section of choice would be the La Diablesse which if I designed it (which i did not) would probably look something like Jean and Dinah this year.But cuter. Seeing that they've been there, done that, I would love to see what they come up with. I guess they could throw in a little Vampire or Werewolf (Then again, the soucoyant and the ligahoo is the trini vampire and werewolf!) but the design may end up looking horrible if they not careful. Well I guess that goes for everything!

I must tell you I am still riding on my Carnival high and have been in the best of moods since then. I have been faced with some challenges by the forces that be who wish to mess with my positive vibe. Bun out bad mind people! I made a turn in the 51 Degrees last night and let me tell you me and my friends still wining like is Carnival next week. I am hoping I can keep it up the spirit till band launch when I will get over excited yet again and be bouncing off the walls until next Carnival.That may not be too hard since launch is sure to be extra early!

So of course the word for the day is .....

La Diablesse- (pronounced Lah-jah-bless) Patois. Folklore. Bride of the devil.Notorious creature of the night,which solicits or woos male passers-by. Very attractively attired,wearing a large hat that concelas her face.At the end of one leg,through her draped skirt can be seen the satanic cloven foot,mark of the evil one.She invites her victim to follow her home after a dance and misleads the unfortunate.

Ok that sounds a bit scary..maybe I will be something else instead.I'm feeling inspired to run a series of the characters in anticipation of what may come. Again, I love these stories! The series all depends on how lazy I feel and how busy I am in work

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Overdoing the do

Well I eh get none of them things on my list yet. But as I say feel free to bring it this week. Let me tell allyuh I can't remember the last time I party so hard for my birthday.I had not even made any definite plans up until Thursday evening . Nonetheless a few quick calls later I had the lime lock for 51 Degrees. Many of my friends had work on Friday and as we getting old they can't party and get up the next day.So a few people weasled their way out of it. But I am a real jumbie, I don't have to have a large crowd to enjoy myself anywhere. So it ended up being me and one other girlfriend (who is a housewife) going to meet some others in the dance.We were not planning to stay late cause we did not want to over do it and save some for Friday night.

When we arrived the karaoke was still going on. Well the sight we met on stage was enough to have us rolling on the flooe immediately. There was a girl who had on a dress that was really a top. She had on was of those knit hats with the strings hanging from it that ppl for some reason like to wear for Carnival. Some terrible platform shoes.She was belting it out on the mic in the most horrendous way with full animation like she was Mary J. Blige herself. And yes I took video. It was too funny! However , i only got like 10 sec of the girl causethis guy came and stood right in front of me. Apparently he liked me and my friend and wanted to by us drinks. We had not even been in the club for 5 minutes. Of course they were old, fat,not cute and Russian. Lucky us.I told him thanks but no thanks but he insisted and refused to move. So I became Daniella (my alter ego) and said my friend was Denise (did not know what her alter ego name was) and said my friend would have a Double Absolut and I would be liming with Uncle Johnny.
As he got the drinks for us he invited us to lime with them at their table with the other old, fat ,not cute Russian guy. We ssaid we would be right back and never came back. Of course my friend would say that maybe the guys put something in our drinks so I should drink first and see what happen. With that I lost all interest in the complimentary drink.

Fortunately shortly after another friemd of other joined us and he was able to get some more drinks for us on the house. Literally on the house cause he did not buy it himself. Well we started getting our groove on, the music was picking up and pretty good. Things got even better a while later when one of our 'celebrity' friends appeared. On hearing that it was my birthday he decided to sponsor a bottle of champagne. Now Johnny is good, MOET is even BETTER. Well the party really got started then. After about our 3rd glass my friend started talking about pulling things back a bit and making sure we flush our system in between with lot sof water and make many trips to the bathroom. We did that , however it did not help that everytime the glass got half empty it would be magically refilled. I doh even want to know how many bottles eventually got emptied among the group of us but it was a few.

By 2am party was in full swing and we was wining like it was Carnival again. People Jumbie dancing in the 51 like it was the Avenue. Of course my friends had to embarras me and ask the DJ to send a 'shout out'. We all had a time. And a ridiculous time at that. At around 5am the lights were on in the club and we were still there.I had already begun to sober up since we had been there for so long . It is so unfortunate that there is no Denny's or IHOP in Trini cause the party would definitely have moved on to there. We limed outside the club aimlessly for quite some time after like we did not want to go home.

The next morning my phone started ringing from EARLY o'clock with ppl calling to send b'day wishes. I had arrived home fine, went to sleep with no problem. I got up with a dread headache. Champagne is not your friend ppl, even if its the expensive kind. My friend who accompanied me called me shortly after to ask if my headached was as big as hers. The only thing for me to do was to get moving and get started on my errands for the day .(Yeah cause this was not going to be a skin out home birthday). So after making a few turns I met my b/f for lunch. I was not even feeling it when he ordered a vodka drink with lunch. I got not even entertain drinking anything alcoholic.

A much needed nap later that afternoon found me hustling everyone to meet up in More Vino. Who incidently have jacked up their prices (again). My fav hors doeuvre which was the smoked salmon went from $50 to $90!! Not cool. Well this night turned out in our favour as well cause every one who I knew sent us over something. Even management sent us a complimentary plate when I found the cheese a bit mouldy. (and it wasn't the mouldy cheese).We have a Nigerian friend who always feels the need to treat us every single time he bounces up the girls. Of course he likes to show off as well so he had to show up the guy who bought us the bottle of wine by buying a bottle of champagne. And I quote "It is your birthday , why are you drinking that sheeeet!" Ok party started again.LOLOL.My friend who was with me last night just looked at me as if to say "Oh no! not again". I told her , I was glad HER birthday is in September! Well we had a time again so it was all well and good at the end. Best believe the head ache was back the next morning.

So that was my birthday and hopefully they will be many more. Talk about living life to the fullest!! well boy!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Go Jumbie!It's your Birthday!

Well tomorrow (2nd) is my birthday..I only now start to get in the spirit of things. I stopped getting excited for my birthday when I hit 21. After that its about getting old. Then you start to think about all the things you thought you would have by "this age" and you get depressed cause you don't have any of them.Right now I not doing too bad .I'm not married but at least I have a good candidate line up.LOL. Decent job.MY Car.No house but who the hell can afford one if you not making $30 grand per month. I find some comfort in that. So I know allyuh want to get me a birthday present so the following is my birthday wish list in no particular order ( Is ok if allyuh put up or something):

  • A Costume in TRIBE for 2008 (Like what else would be first lolol)
  • A house in the West, prefarably somewhere bougie but I go take what I get
  • World Peace
  • A trip for two to Bora Bora (And is not you I taking)
  • Have my credit cards paid off. Put some money on the mobile while yuh at it.
  • Quick Books 2007 (software)
  • A wardrobe for Carnival fete season 2008, call allyuh links and let Jebelle or Eva's sponsor meh nah
  • A piece of beachfront property in Tobago
  • The secret of success
  • A jacuzzi
  • Joan Yuille Williams phone number to ask she if she is ah ass for that carnival stage debacle
  • A pair of Dolce & Gabanna sunglasses
  • A nice man for my friend, (i eh greedy)
  • Doubles to go back to $1
  • A helicopter to duck all the traffic
  • A snow machine. I eh see snow since I was 4. I doh like the cold but a snow machine in the savannah would be fun ent?
  • A big macco plasma tv
  • A nice woman for my ex so he go stop harrassing my ass.
  • A Rubiks cube. Everytime I go by Knowledge Zone they sell out. I real like them things
  • A renewal of my subscription to Vogue and Cosmopolitan, I get tired paying them damn freight charges

Please note that cash and credit cards are always welcome. No cheques please. Doh frighten if the present late, I go still take it.

Word for today:

Glad man (woman): A person who is always bubbling over with enthusiasmk. Or makes light of life's problems and concentrates on having a good time.

As in..I is a real glad woman lolol!