Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Carnival or Lent?

Now allyuh know I love a newspapers. I does read Guardian and Express everyday.I doh really deal up with Newsday, it does look too cluttered and disorganised for my liking,plus they have the worst comics. Why I must open the papers and see an article like this.

Fr.Ian Taylor, a Roman Catholic priest has described as hypocritical the followers who engage in Carnival celebrations and then seek ashes at the beginning of the Lenten season. Is this man really serious? I take personal offense to such a comment!! I am Roman Catholic, I go to church most weekends. I went a Catholic primary school, secondary school and a little bit again it would have been Catholic university (which my sis actually did). Nobody more Catholic than my Mommy Jumbie here, she so Catholic it does annoy ME sometimes. Yet everybody inside here does play their mas Carnival time.

So what he saying? I not Catholic ENOUGH if I play mas? The man say people must decide "whether they really want to be holy or party." And then go on to say "God does not bluff and there are consequences for one's actions" Wait, Catholics not supposed to be a faith of forgiveness? What he talking about with this Old Testament crap?Whatever happened to "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" Who is really the hypocrite here?

I eh know about allyuh but just because I play mas doh mean I giving in to the devil. If you see me Carnival time, I so excited you would swear I was drunk. Truth be known if I had 3 drinks any one day it was plenty. I don't get drunk nor do I behave in lewdness that might be considered derogatory to myself. I literally have good CLEAN fun Carnival time. Yeah so many lenten traditions have begun to fade.Long time a calypso could not play on the radio during lent. But even though there are many heathens in our midst, not everyone has lost faith. If it was so all of we would have pack we bags and fly out to get away from the crime. I for one have not lost my sense of faith or my inherent Catholic upbringing.So if I go to mass Ash Wednesday with a dread tan and glitter in my hair I can do so in ALL good conscience Fr.Taylor.


Words for today :

CANBOULAY:French, Cannes Brulees- Cane Burning
In the 1800s, dissidents would signal their comrades witha small hillside fire, to burn down the cane fields.These unscheduled fires,retaliatory acts of rebellion and costly sabotage were extinguished by bands of Negre Jardin-field slaves from neighbouring estates carrying flambeaux for light and drums to lead their work songs,summoned by blaring horns and shells.
The procession was eventually renacted as a street performance annually, and was gradually joined by the upper classes- the woman resplendent in their Mulatress outfits, and the sooty-faced French-Creole men in torn pants and torches parodying the Negre Jardin,doing full jusice to the Bamboula,Belle-air,Calinda,Ghouba, and Juba, and all African drum songs and dances...
Long before the masked balls of aristocracy, teh natives were already restless-busy inventing pan,caiso and what would become a prodigious street Carnival.

CARNIVAL-Latin-Carnis-flesh.Vale-farewell. The 'farewell to flesh' period prior to Lent spawned by the fires of Cannes Brulees and driven by the commanding force of slave ritual drumming along the inexorable path towards sponataneous combustion, the present day celebration has an exciting and tumultuous history in the Canboulay Street processions.
Seasoned with the Bus head blood of Batonniers, steeped in the spicy winein of REAL jamettes, and haunted by the ghosts of ancient masquers who defied authorities annually and went to prison for the right to dance in the streets.

Act like allyuh know.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Outta body, Back to yuhself

Sigh, so today was my first day back to work after a much blessed Carnival vacation. I really thought I would be ready to jump back into work with a fresh outlook with all the good spirits(jumbies?) I collected from the experience of Carnival.

Phhst! Yeah right! Its so hard to get back to reality and get back into the routine.I guess I should have realise I was in denial that Carnival was over when I did not take off the id bands until Wednesday night. My TRIBE box still on the floor where it rest since I collect my costume (as if I going and open it, try it on again, wine, take it off,put back in box). The sound of dancehall on the radio is like chalk on a blackboard to my ears. Doh laugh eh but how about the my fabulous idea for my fabulous tattoo has fabulously backfired. Well being that I was in denial, I did not actually attempt to remove the airbrush dragon tattoo until Friday. Yes I bathe!! It just doh come off with water jus so. I scrub a dub and it still doh want to come off. Eventually I had to recruit my mom to use some rubbing alcohol to remove the ink. So why I still have a tattoo on my back in the shape of a dragon? BECAUSE the sun was real hot Monday and Tuesday and my skin tanned around the inked parts. So now I have a WHITE Dragon on my back. And yes it looking white cause I had real house colour before Carnival. Close up it just look like lothar but apparently from a distance it looks like I took a tattoo with white ink. You can still see the shape clearly,its very well defined. I did not realise that it stood out so much until I went to the beach this weekend and a friend approached me and say half the people behind my back talking about me (literally behind my back). Like the black was as big a hit as the white.Needless to say, two days at the beach and my dragon still chillin on my back.

I am just so not in work mode, my boss will hang me this week if I don't finish my tasks. I know quite a few people who just stayed home the whole week after Carnival...just 'cause. I know myself..I take vacation! But what about those visitors who are desperately trying to get back to the U.S or U.K? They in Piarco there holding their heads and bawling . Who might not have a job when they get back, who overstay their vacation already,who eh pay their rent this month cause they buy costume etc.I spend whole day looking for Carnival pics. Or rather for me in Carnival pics. I find the photographers eh give Dragon no love at all.I have seen very few pics of ppl in my costume and almost none from my section.

Well allyuh hold it down , get back to the grind. I was not sure how much momentum this blog would have after Carnival so I started a new one parallell to this (just in case). It may not be as entertaining but then again , I find humour in everything. It should kill some time if yuh bored and might interest some. Join me at http://bracefacejumbie.blogspot.com/ .Doh worry I still maintaining this blog cause Trinidad life just too jokey....I going and have plenty to say bout the bacchanal World Cup Cricket going and cause.

My bad, word for today is...

TABANCA: pronounced tah-bang-kah. Spanish-Tabernero-barkeeper. The forlorn,wretched, abandoned feeling that comes with the end of a love affair, driving you to drink!Curry Tabanca-the same , but the East Indian experience, that may involve weed-poison! Tabanca-Tarange-Foufoulou. Advancing stages of Tabanca.

As in...I have a Carnival Tabanca !

BTW I eh make up that part about the weed-posion eh..das what Cote ci Cote La say!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Carnival Pookie Awards

I eh know if allyuh remember a skit from "In Living Colour" where they gave out the Pookie Awards. It was like an academy award but the Oscar was a Black man with a Afro and a big space between his teeth. Well when I was in secondary school we started giving Pookie awards in class on a daily basis. The most recognised categories in the Oscars are Best Actress/Best Movie/Best actor. Well for our Pookie award the biggest category was "Ass of the Day".Yes I'm serious. We actually had someone designated to note every time someone got shit up and they earned one point.At the end of the day we had a presentation ceremony where they got a cardboard statuette with "Ass of the day" written on the bottom. I was the one comissioned to create the statuette. Needless to say we eventually got in trouble when the same girl won the award everyday for like a week. Apparently she got upset that ppl kept shitting her up and sell we out to a teacher. I eh know if Jamette remember that, that was one for the books!

So in an effort to resurect a long standing tradition I decided I should give Pookie awards for Carnival.....and the winners (and losers) are:

  • BEST PICK UP LINE : "Hi, my name is (fill in the blank)"
  • WORST PICK UP LINE : "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?You must have good genes.Do you have a sister?" (I kid you not)
  • BEST WINE LOCATION: The forseshore, for bringing back old times
  • WORST WINE LOCATION: The Savannah On Tuesday with no music.
  • BEST WINE SONG: Mestra, "I dare you" (Still meant to say Mestra)
  • WORST WINE SONG : Lil Bits "Ah little bit" I sure yuh eh know it. Sound totally techno.
  • BEST JUMP UP SONG: I'm blatantly biased, Machel....Jumbie
  • WORST JUMP UP SONG: Sha Na Na (Japanese Wine) by Minmi. I will give her honorable mention for having a good soca monarch performance.
  • BEST WINE PERSON: Meh man nuh steups wham to allyuh at all
  • WORST WINE PERSON:The (ugly) red man who jam me and when I politely declined get more vex and tell me "You not a Trini". I told him about his mudder.Is that Trini enough for you?
  • BEST COSTUME: Sacred Sand for IP, Dragon (blatantly biased) for TRIBE, Macfarlane whole band for having big mas and amazing costumes
  • WORST COSTUME: Raiders for IP (ahmm that is NOT a costume), Bat for TRIBE, Golden Era for Trini Revellers.
  • BEST MUSIC TRUCK: Red Bull truck (Can't talk for other bands)
  • BEST DRINK: Johnny and RED BULL!! (biased again)
  • WORST DRINK: Battery
  • BEST FETE: Lara , cause Beachhouse eh have Machel.
  • WORST FETE: Gal Farm ( for all the violence)
  • BEST FETE FOR YOUR BUCK: ONE ($300 all inclusive and Machel? nah!)
  • WORST LIVE PERFORMER FOR THE SEASON: Tie between Zan and Crazy. Crazy cause he threw away a sure win in Groovy Soca Monarch by having his whole performance consist of a lap dance and Zan who only performed last year's tune "Heart of a Man" when rolling with Machel and seemed lost on stage (when he was allowed to stay) when he had nothing else to do.Even though he had songs for 2007.
  • WORST DRESSED PERFORMER: Mestra (I was going to let her slide up until Lara)
  • BEST DRESSED PERFORMER: Machel who always look spiffy although he strips onstage every time cause he sweats through all the clothes.
  • BEST SOCA VIDEO: Machel, Jumbie cause I'm biased and tired see Shurwayne do the towel thing and have the Shiv Shakti dancers
  • WORST SOCA VIDEO: Tie between Crazy (Cold Sweat), Crazy (Sharing Licks) and Denyse Plummer . So I guess Crazy win 2 out of 3. Yeah Licks like fire was a blue screen showing pan with Crazy hanging upside down. I am especially diappointed in Cold Sweat which was directed by REMY who I have great respect for as a director. He did the "To the ceiling video". I guess Crazy did not have a good budget.
  • BEST NEW ARTIST: Oluntunji from Roy Cape.Honorable mention to Kizzy from El-a-Kru (Antigua) for Expose.Her video nearly win for worst video though.
  • BEST COME BACK ARTIST: The man formerly known as Iwer George (seriously he asked to be referred to as "The big man in the business")
  • BEST MAS BAND: I eh getting into dat!! Where ever yuh enjoy yuhself the most yes!
  • WORST MAS BAND : Ditto....
  • BEST JOUVERT SONG : We dutty by Blaxx
  • WORST JOUVERT SONG: Down the road by Machel , I might sound gone against here but I find this song encourages too much slackness.Wining criminal? Any girl I wining? Hells no.
  • BEST SOCA ALBUMN; Machel, Book of Angels. Umm he actually has a ALBUM who else have a full album?
  • BEST COLLABORATION:Machel and Patrice for "Light it up". I did not say Kees and Nadia Batson for "My Land" SIMPLY because they sing "Open the Gate" in their chorus and I still confused how that could be if Shurwayne have a song with the same name and they both end up in the soca finals.Go figure.
  • WORST COLLABORATION: Tie! Sizzla and Machel, Higher than high remix. That song is too too.Sizzla stick to dancehall. Bunji and Faye Ann for "The Lyrics King and the Lyon Empress". Are they really serious though? Do they really think the general public give a shit about how in love they are?
  • BEST FEMALE ARTIST: As much as it pains me...Mestra. Like who else though, at least she always tries to give her all.
  • BEST MALE ARTIST: Machel, Duh!
  • EAT A FOOD AWARD: Machel for AC 5. He must be make a million dollars.
  • LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: Saucy Wow Belfon for her contribution to the art of wining and having the belly to put on white spandex and wine down.

I can't think of any more categories but feel free to suggest some. All winners can contact me for your Pookie and the prize package of Crix and Dixie Biscuits.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Carnival Tues

So Carnival Tuesday started at 10pm Carnival Monday for me. As I reach home Monday I realise...but wait...I never try on my leg/foot pieces. Of course they were all too big so I had to rev up the sewing machine and was well mas making. The pouch I had made to match my costume was starting to shred so I had to fix that as well.The glue gun pull out to fix some loose beads and reinforce some other iffy ones.

At 5:30 am I found myself agonizing over the eyelash that wanted to fall off. I fraid to call my beautician that early cause I was going and wake up she ass. I realise I does rub my eye in my sleep cause I does wake up with lash missing. So with the help of a toothpick and some weave glue (aye not for a weave,for eyelashes) I managed to tack it down enough to secure it for the day.In putting on my costume I realise that even though I fall into the small zone on the stocking chart like I needed a medium for length. I put on a medium on Monday intentionally cause my Monday kit was flashing some bumcee crack. But like the low rider stockings in small could barely cover my backside. All kind of pull up and jumping up and down I had to do to get it fix (with my long nails).I was just happy to see that the tattoo was still very much intact. I just had to powder it down to soak up the sweat during the day.

I gone down the road with my full kit to meet my friends in St.James. Who tell me to take a last pee before we head down the road?? As i putting back on my waist band , the velcro ketch on my tights and pull it. ARRRGGGGHHHH!! And I was doing so well. Well my friend make up artist telling me that is was small ting cause i just fray it, I eh run it so I good. Who tell me listen to her?I had an extra pair in my bag (good thing I buy 3!!I know myself) and did not put it on. Of course the pull did run later in the day.

So we walking and talking down the road fixing weself. I did not put on my blogger yarn because one, I figured if yuh wanted to pick me out yuh could have do so just on the tattoo alone.Also I had these wrist bands with two long panels of cloth. They covered my whole wrist to the point where I lost one of my airbrush tattoos underneath.That start to annoy me one time as they were dragging on the floor. Then in trying to put on my head piece to look cute going down the road, I realise something up with my head piece. It just not sitting right on my head. I decided to wait till I got in the section to observe other people to see how they wore it. My head was already starting to hurt me with that hot sun and that long trek we was making down the road.

Even though we move kinda late we still caught the band on Stanmore Ave. Why?Hmm maybe cause IP decide to meet on Cipriani Blvd to cause bacchanal AGAIN!(if allyuh remember last year when they cut us off same way)If allyuh was in the stadium Monday, why they had to Jumbie people and come and line off next to us on Tuesday?That is just childish bullshit.
Well we had time to get breakfast nonetheless. It had doubles, bhagi and bake, saltfish,cheese,ham and cheese, yogurt and orange. I played it safe and took the bake and cheese. I not playing with that doubles to turn my belly or saltfish to smell up my mouth so early .The bake was HUGE and tasted great. It had lettuce too aye aye.

We start the trek down town and it was sloooooow goings.I was by the red bull truck with my section once more. But honestly I was bored out of my mind just on the fact that we were stationary and it just felt like the party had yet to get started. My friend I I took a walk up to the Heineken truck to macco. Well that is supposedly a mobile club. Apparently they were doing the heineken airbrush tattoos in there as well. Well it have a tv mounted on the outside to show you what going on inside the 'club'. I real laugh when I see it was just a man sweeping the floor. We did not even bother to go inside. So I walk up and down St.Vincent St. I eh go lie to tell yuh, some people need a mirror in their house. Why people feel they could go without stockings?WHY??!!! I see things I never see before yes. And why if they have a tankini/whole piece option ppl INSISTED on wearing bikinis. If you have EE breasts, you NEED support and a bikini is not going to give you that. If you belly is lapping over the waistband like a fanny pack (them pouches yuh buckle around yuh waist) chances are you waistband/bottom piece is too small. People in my section were the biggest culprits. You had to know what is for you. My costume was extremely scanty, but yet they insist in buying a Charlotte St bra and bringing it for TRIBE to decorate. Why I had to see a woman cut her tights like a short pants and wearing it under the boyshort? No , you need the whole tights to get support!!! I not fooling myself, if I put on plenty weight I know that I can't continue wearing what I did when I was a size 2. TRIBE provides options for larger sizes in terms of costume style and swimsuit options..PLEASE use them to obtain a result that is FLATTERING to your body type. Every body could look good, whether yuh big or small but it is all based on yuh choices and ppl were making disastrous ones. Aye and allyuh skinny ppl to blame too. Just cause yuh skinny doh mean yuh doh have to wear tights.Unless your skin is FLAWLESS and i mean airbrushed like a magazine, you need a tights. I see a stick figure with a set of black stretch marks all over she bottom. She so skinny the boy short not even biting she bumcee. But yet she eh even put a coat of foundation on she leg for we benefit. STEUPS them good yes.

I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery cause come Carnival Tuesday, there were two other girls in the section who went and get dragon painting son their back. I say paintings cause it did not look like airbrush, or maybe a bad airbrush. It looked more like somebody painted it on with body paint or maybe a free hand airbrush. I know they definitely did not have it on Monday. I don't want to feel that they ran out Monday night to find somebody to do it for them after seeing mine on Monday. But whatever the case....mine looked so real that either ppl ignored me cause they figured it was real or they came to ask who was my tattoo artist cause they were into tattoos. I had a friend try to scrape it off because he could not believe it was fake.(OW!)

So a hour or two pass on St.Vincent St and we start to edge up to South Quay stage. Mt friend was getting on like one paparazzi. She had her digital camera I was going mad.I don't advise anyone to walk with a digital camera on the road unless of course you had someone like we did who had a bag on their back to put it away properly. Well we see Michael Ealy, that guy from the movie Barbershop ( Halle Berry ex nuh) and well taking pictures. My friend with one leg up in the air. I bounce up Jamette moaning about all she fancy jewels that falling off. Coincedently as she was talking me a girl make out her yarn and we met CB.A bit later on I met other bloggers who recognised my tattoo. I sorry guys, I know one was 'rah and I can't remember the next one. Big up all the same.So i still trying to fix my head piece and came to the conclusion that my head was just too big. All i try, the decorations on the side was digging into my ears. When I try to put it behind my ears it pushing it forward like Dumbo. I try a one in front and one behind and that just looked dumb. I dunno how oher ppl managed that nuh.That is when my friend with the bag get recruit to hold my head piece till I reach back to drop it in St.James. Well then I had to change my hairstyle cause without the head piece my big head look like something out of Alien. My friend had to get a bottle of water and flip my hair over to give me a hairdo in the middle of the road. It came out pretty cute I must say. Good looking out.My wrist pieces were annoying me still cause they kept popping off as it had very little give going around the wrist.Every little pull (or step on it) it wanted to come off. I should have stapled it.My bad

Is then the weather start to get inclement all of a sudden.As we was crossing the stage the rain came down. And I eh talking no drizzle nah. Bucket a drop. Well we had a time crossing the stage in the rain. Of course somebody jump on my wrist piece and it went flying. By the time we finish the stage the next one was soaked with canal water, so that get leave on South Quay right there. On the way up Fredrick St. I got a nice surprise when my b/f come amd jam me. He was rolling with IP and made a point to say he walk ALLLL the way from the Savannah to find me. Doh mind his friend who I bounce up earlier tell him I had on a YELLOW and BLUE costume.Too much Johnny anyone?So I had to get in all kinda wine from all direction to make up for the two days. He hung out with me till we reach back up the Savannah and we walked ahead to go for lunch. One the way up a guy stopped me and asked if I was Jumbie and I was like yes. He then turned to his friend and tell him "I TELL YUH SO!!" and walked off. Ok , nice meeting you too whoeve ryou are.So then we have the next bacchanal. IP crossing the Savannah...TRIBE want to skip the stage and go staright to lunch.TRIBE try to cut up Stanmore Ave and get cut off by IP. Ok fine, what I doh understand is if IP going down Cipriani for lunch,why the had to PARK on the Savannah. They were not even attempting to herd the band down the road.

We walked ahead to get lunch and chilled out for quite a long time since the band was stuck at the Savannah. So we lay on the blankets that TRIBE had provided and ate Chicken Parmesan and Ice Cream. Aye, where my garlic bread though? I eh get garlic bread. Eventually the band started moving on Serpentine Rd. The DJ then told us to take a look overhead...What am I to see but a PLANE flying overhead with a banner saying "TRIBE is Higher than High". WTF!!! Nah!! That is beyond ridiculous. That is like a big meggie in all them other bands face, no matter where who they were, ppl were thinking about TRIBE. They really went overboard. We get a wet down again in St.James and proceeded down the road.On the way we get Pizza and Bake and Shark which really could have used some Shadon Beni and Tamarind Sauce.I nearly fight with a girl who at after 6pm still wanted to wear she Fireman backpack and had no thought for anybody around her. She swing she backpack and get tangled in my hair and start to walk. She nearly rip my hair out. I doh have to tell you what that felt like.Yuh know I pull she back pack so hard I nearly throw she dong. She get one cuss. And then watch me and tell me, not sorry but I should not have walk into her. At 6pm yuh not crossing no blasted stage again, dash that shit away. She get more cuss and the only reason she eh get a hard slap is cause it was Carnival Tuesday. Serious, if it was any other day of the year I was going and rumble in the jungle. Then there was Wendy Fitzwlliam playing in Jean and Dinah. She looked really nice but she started doing this jig down teh road. It was two hop, a skip and a jump. Repeat. I eh know hat happen to she, as black as she is like she never wine in she life.

We bounce up the end of Western Main Rd with the big truck fighting up to make the turns again. He nearly reverse on the concrete dividers.The driver showed his skill again and ended up ramping up the pavement. I could have swear he was going and flip the truck. I did not want to be anywhere near where that happened so I walked ahead to Mucurapo Rd (where I could macco but not get crushed!). Then I hear Hoppy say "Drive, when yuh get straight just mash gas, I go tell yuh why just now...DRIVE!". I was confuse but when I look behind e I see a set of yellow jerseys rushing up the road with rope. Then I realise IP coming up THE WRONG WAY up Mucurapo Rd. Now tell me why they must do that. The damn IP security rushing to cut we off again!! Doh mind the front of TRIBE already on the Foreshore. YES I SAY THE FORESHORE. When last yuh wine on the foreshore? TRIBE get special permission to go down the Foreshore like long time. M friend telling the IP security "Where allyuh going? Allyuh can't go nowhere!" Which was true cause we was already on the stretch they want to turn onto.Hoppy see the scene and ws not taking dat! Boy the Giant Red Bull truck block of the whole end of Mucurapo Rd and he say "Hello IP!!Let we show them how TRIBE does do things". Then he open up them big stinkin speakers on them.LOLOLOL. He had call up Vegas on the truck. Vegas drop Hot Wuk on them and the place mash up , throw dong, explode, incinerate all kind ting.IP get full blast of them speakers. See the video here!!But how about TRIBE and IP security start to argue in front the truck!!! Ip security try and pull the truck driver from the cab!!! I see it with my own two eye. I was wining in front the truck. My friend is one Shorty Bum, how about she reach up inside the whole bacchanal. She cusssing and carrying on opposing IP security. TRIBE security had to brakes for IP cause she was ready to beat them up herself.LOLOLOL. So the two security forces were all in a huddle and eventually they just had to let we pass. One of TRIBE management told me that it was shit to begin with cause they cut us off twice for the day already and even though they all have walkie talkies and they all supposed to be friends IP keep shitting them up. So we wait this morning they go cool they ass now.LOLOL

Well I think it was baad to bounce up IP sipy because all their ghetto stormers wanted to jump in TRIBE when they see Vegas on the truck. We went down the Foreshore in semi darkness with a set of straglers who were not there before.They had no behaviour and startedto sour the scene. The band became very disorganised . As we swung onto Ariapita Ave the bars closed off. I suspect cause last year when they stayed open till the band stopped, the ghetto youths were jumping on the bars and stealing bottles of alcohol. The band contined and at about Carlos St announced that the official TRIBE experience was finished but the RED bull truck still had half hour so you could follow the truck at your own risk. The truck continude down the road with myself in tow. The security actually stuck around although they did not have to which was nice.

I eh go lie to tell allyuh, I turn off the music on that Red Bull truck.I was there till the last song play at 9;30pm or so. Hoppy say one more and of course we get one last Jumbie Dance. Then as the music shut off, Hoppy say "One more Bandit!One more". Of course DJ Bandit play "One more wine" which was a nice way to end it off. I sadly chipped down the road to get a ride back to St.James. I was so bummed it was all over. I had a time.

I did not even cut off my ID bands till like 4pm Ash Wed. I still have my tattoo cause I don't have the heart to scrub it off. Can I tell you that I had this thing on my foot that looked like a golf ball! It was just one area that was swollen on one foot. My friends insist that is cause I was jumbie dancing on that foot all day LOLOLOL. They just might be right.
I can't wait until next year allyuh, man I live for this!

Monday, February 19, 2007

TRIBE Carnival Monday

So My Carnival Monday started off at 12:30 am. I had a little conflict in scheduling my appointment to do my dragon airbrush so I had to push it back to after Lara Fete. I nearly did not do it at all cause after the fete the guy was still tied up in the East and he wanted me to come at 7am!! Oh hells no! Miraculously as I was on my way home he called me and tol dme to come NOW! So I went. In addition to the original plan to get the Dragon on my back I put some Chinese writing on my forearm which supposedly said "Life, Love, Laugh" according to the contact sheet. It could have said "Cow, Moon, Chair" for all I know. As you can see from the pic I did it in all black. I think it made a bolder statement that way. The airbrush guy kept trying to twist my arm to put glitter on it. I was like NO WAY, this is a bad man tattoo ,we doh deal up with glitter.LOLOLOL.
So I put on my hot Monday outfit to a variety of reviews. My mom loved it. My neighbour who played in Sailor said I looked like one skettel and then added that I look like a skettel no matter what I wear anyway lololol. Most people thought it was just hot. A lot of strangers came up to me to ask where I got it. Thats in addition to the 10 million people who asked if the tattoo was real . The tattoo really was done well and it did shake quite a few ppl. My friends were like "when the hell did you do that ?". I guess cause they know my b/f has some huge ones as well they figured I might have taken the chain up.
So of course my squad was late to meet the band. I parked by my friend in St.James and we walked from near the police barracks all the way to Stanmore Ave. Then had to run down St.Vincent St. Well as I said, I was till out of breath from Lara, so it was a bit rough.When we ketch the band they was in South Quay crossing the stage. We take we first drink and take up position one time. I was very lucky that my section was with the Radioactive/ Red Bull truck. It turned out to be the hot place to be on the road. The red bull truck was just HUGE. It was pimped out like the HD truck on the inside and it had a patio on the roof complete with railings.The band itself was huge and had many many trucks rolling down the road including two pee pee trucks.
I jumbie all over town yes. Any thought of any other song winning road march was quickly dismissed. The red bull truck nearly stick on Park st cause it was so huge it could not make some corners. That driver is really something else, he put down some real moves there. It would not be the last we see of that.A little way down the road I bounce up Saucy standing on Charlotte St. She make me out easy easy. A couple people did as well but just cause they recognised the tattoo from the blog. So if yuh made out the tattoo yuh know what I wore on Monday. lolol
The procession across the "stage" at the savannah went completely unnoticed.At a point I was like "Wait, we finish?" STEUPS. To me it made no sense . But talk about hot truck? We had Peter Ram and Mr. Vegas and Iwer and that man who will groovy soca performing throughout the day!We jumbie and hot wuk dong the street!
Lunch was well organised and uneventful. I had Chicken Parmesan...imagine that. Fancy ting yes.The vanity room is always very convenient. Lots of Rexona deodarant and Maxi pad. A male friend actually asked me if we just meet the band. When I enquired as to why he would think that he told me that we all look and smell so fresh that is like we now bathe and come down the road. Further props to TRIBE for having stocked their pee pee trucks with Safety pins and Listerine. My friend had a slight wadrobe malfunction and we solved it painlessly. They should start walking with extra tights yes, people will buy them on the road.
One and ONLY complaint, the bathroom lines at lunch were extremely long. Usually the pee pee trucks would be parked alongside the park to offer additional stations but I guess they were cleaning or something.
As per usual TRIBE masqueraders took their time to get back on the road although the trucks started moving in due course. St. James was a good jam session as well. Throughout the day we were sprinkled with rain. But it was like having a cool zone all over, not a wet down. The sun was still shining (blazing) throughout. I never had any problems getting to the bar. I was however avoiding going to thebathroom caue it was just too much stress to have to fight my way through the band to get back up to my section. Security was present in full force but seemed indiffferent most of the time I guess more cause they did not really HAVE anyone to put out to begin with. We really were blessed not to have any set of stormers. Or rather stormers who behaved badly. I think for the most part the stormers were somebody in costume g/f or b/f.
So the day wound down as we passed down the Ave chipping into the night all the way back to Stanmore Ave. It was great Day 1 and I could not wait for Day 2.Unfortunately that could not happen till I found my way back to St. James...from Stanmore!!! Arghhh. Talk about walk a mile and a half!

Lara Fete Review

Allyuh, Lara was a BEESSST fete. So after I storm I find myself sampling the nice selection of food. It had Chinese, Wild Meat, Creole and some Curry that was real bunnin. Plus they had the usual finger foods...bake and shark etc.Drinks was flowing very nicely as well, no scene to get drinks by the bar.

The highlight of the night were the live perfomances. The stage was set up with the laser effects and was creating patterns all over the mansion.Bmobile lit up the crowd with glow sticks.

Destra performed first. I really hope somebody could tell me what she really put on. That had to be the worst kit for the season.A hot mess.But as I say, I was a real paparazzi that night. I was right in front the stage whole night. Now you know I am not particularly a Destra fan but I was in a journalistic mood that night so allyuh go love me for this ..for video clips of Destra's performance of "Its Carnival" Click here and for "Bonnie and Clyde" at Lara's fete click here.The audio is not that great because I was literally in front the stage leaning on a speaker. All that distortion is the bass pushing from the speakers.
After Destra there was Ozzy Merrick performing some kinda rapso song. Like Lara feel sorry for him or something cause he actually came on stage and asked for the crowd to listen to him perform. STEUPS. Neither I nor the crowd received him very well as all we was studying was Carnival and he sure as hell was not singing soca. Maximus Dan then performed and he was good although he does not have any really big tunes this year. The Soca Warrior thing is getting kinda old now.Sigh.

Boy I eh even know where to start with Machel nuh.I swear that had to be one of his best performances for the season. I did not go AC5 to see all the fancy decorations but I felt like he was going all out for us.He performed both old and new tunes.He had performances by Benjai, Zan and Patrice included in his set as well. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun and get on bad in a fete. I can't remember the last time I see so many uptown ppl getting on bad like is brass festival and they want to mash up the place . Machel TEAR DOWN the place. Boy, when he drop that Jumbie. HUMPH!Madness!! I sorry eh allyuh but yuh will have to forgive me, I was too busy Jumbie Dancing (Yes it have a dance to go with it) to video tape it. We jumbie dance for like a half hour. I was too busy wining for most of his performance to get much at all. Ok nah,allyuh could still get something. For 5 whole minutes of Machel in Lara performing "One more wine" Click here! for Part 1 and Part 2! Its almost as if you were there....Watch it to the end. There is a very funny part in Part 2 where he talks to the crowd and asks a girl(not me) if he video taping him on her cellphone. Then he asks if she going to put it on YOU TUBE .The answer is "Yes, Machel , I am putting you on YOU TUBE." LOLOL.(That's me saying 'That's right' in the video lolol) He also comes right up in front of me in the video so its some good footage (fortunately I did not get penis in my face).
By the time Machel finish , I was so out of breath I nearly get a asthma attack and I doh usually get them things. Carnival Monday morning I was still trying to catch my breath.No LIE! That performance started the Carnival with a bang.The fete then ended very abruptly. All of a sudden stage lights go off and I hearing pan music over the speakers.Ok then, basically he telling us get the hell out. I was all too happy at that point to care. You ever notice that free fete does always be the best fete you go to? I will let the videos speak for themselves. I really hope I could go that fete again next year (for free)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Blue Range Cooler Fete Review

So none of my squad wanted to go anywhere last night. I wanted to go Soca Monarch or maybe Imagine but everybody duck me. So seeing that I had a combo ticket for Blue Range since the all inclusive I hooked up with some other friends and made in a turn in the cooler fete.

I am not wasting my time to go into details about this. The music was great with Private Ryan and Detrimental on the set. The drinks was great cause I walk with my own Johnny Walker. But the party had more smallies than Ladies First. I tell my friend the last time I was on a cooler wining was Pier 1 Cooler fete in 1996. When I say smallies I mean those who look like they still in Form 4 and this is the only party their parents letting them go for the season. They getting on wild too.It was even more weird when I saw many much older people but there were few in the age group in between. Terrible! As soon as it start to drizzle I was out at about 3:15 I was out of there!

Not me again. I so regret not scalping that ticket (which is why I bought the combo).

Trying and hustle something for Lara tomorrow...we go see!

Enter the Dragon!

Well boy today was REAL pace.I had so much things to do yesterday and my whole game plan get throw off. Firstly like I drink too much red bull Thursday night in Beachhouse cause my heart was racing and I could not get to sleep.

I woke up early to do some stuff (early being before 12). My appt to do my nails was 11 pm. When I reach by the nail shop the woman not there, she in town. She tell me she reaching in half and hour. So I decide to try and cross some of the other stuff off my list. I made into the bank and was about to get lunch when I hear NP going on strike.Of cours my tank was on quarter mark cause I was planning to go get gas after lunch. So I had to rush through the piles of traffic to get to a gas station before the ridiculous bumper to bumper lin eup up begins. You know how it goes, just a rumour of a gas strike sends traffic backing up everywhere with ppl rushing the pump. I did not get to start my nails till 12:30. The hair appointment was at 2pm and in between I was supposed to get my costume. Well I soon realised either I was not getting my costume or was not doing my hair. I called a friend to collect my costume for me. She called me from the mas camp to let me know the place was madness and she would have to come back. Apparently only the express line was really moving quickly. I would have been able to get the costume in no time but I was under the dryer.

I eventually called a friend in TRIBE who was working and authorised her to get my costume for me. I was not willing to wait till saturday to deal with more madness and risk some bad mind ass selling my costume while I in the line. So I got the costume and well...its real HOT and real sexy. You really have to be in top shape to pull off this costume well. . The waist band was perfect. The bra was a next connundrum (look it up).So I took a 32A although I am a 34B. Why? Experience has taught me so. Last year in particular I had a 32 A and was able to boost my bosom with inserts. The 34 B last year was waaay too big (my friend had one). Well the bra I get would have fit me when I was 12 and I have very little to speak of even now. It fit across the back comfortably but he cups were so small that they were flattening me out. I could not use inserts to boost me up as that and all were bigger than the cups. I guess cause the inserts are for a size B bra. So anyhow I swing it I had to get a bigger bra. I managed to secure a 34B. I hope it won't be too big now. One thing that I was annoyed about is that the colour of the bra is a salmon coloured orange and the bottom piece is a bright orange. During the registration process I specifically asked whether they were going to change the bra colour cause it was looking a bit off. I was told that it would be changed and it was just a sample on display.This was actually one of my points of conetntion in deciding between imp and dragon. I was not impressed to see it still the same ugly colour. Apparently several section shad some tweaks that were unexpected. I know Imp on display had cloth both in the front and back, now its only in the front. Some head pieces have shrunk, I think mine might be one.I know a few ppl had problems with Jamette's corsette being two big and quote "cheap".

A next thing that annoyed me is that I got the wrong bottom pieces.When i went to pay I was told I was only allowed one extra bottom piece and not two as I had signed up for(even though I was paying the xtra). I wanted the thong, boy short and regular as I can never make up my mind till the morning of and I was not sure what I was wearing on Monday. I have done this every previous year in TRIBE as well as years before in Poison.So I don't see why its and issue if I paying for it.But whatever I chose the thong and regular as I had the Monday wear locked.Ironically I had try to drop the boy short earlier once I got Monday wear and was told I could not make changes . You could tell me why my box come with a boy short and a regular? My b/f hates the idea of me wearing the thongs. I actually call him and ask him if he sabotage me and got somebody to switch it. LOLOL. But it really was Tribe's mistake, my box has the wrong options as well. I did not want the stress of going up just to get a thong when for peace's sake I probably won't wear it anyway. I will still have the last laugh as the "regular' is so narrow in the back that when worn under my waistband you can't see it. You can' t even tell if I have on a thong or a regular. And you know my costume already skimpy to begin with so how the regular so small I eh know. So the regular looking like it want to be a regular thong. The thong thong is even smaller.

Unfortunately my earrings from Hong Kong never reach in time. I am so dissappointed. They would have been ridiculous. My friend really did notthink things through by sending it regular mail. She thought that by sending it via HK mail which is good that I would be safe since it send since end of January. She forget when it reach it have to go by TTPOST.Who of course is the worst!

But the goody bag though....

  • One Digicel coupon
  • One $10 Neutrogena Coupon
  • One pack Perfit Thong Panty Shields
  • One Digicel Money Pouch
  • One Tribe Note pad
  • One Tribe Key chain
  • One Tribe mirror
  • One Heineken Key chain
  • One bottle Ocean Spray Grape Drink
  • One mini Opi Nail polish (that match the costume)

Where the ass is my matching drawstring pouch??STEUPS. Did they not have a make up bag too? STEUPS
So aside from that its full steam ahead and we ready for mas again!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Beachouse Review

Allyuh suprised ent? I had bun outthis party because of the EXHORBITANT cost of the ticket. Last year it was $350, this year it was $550. When I asked the reason for the increase I was told it was on account of inflation and the fact that they were having two live bands (Roy Cape and Atlantic).They could have keep their damn bands as far as I concerned, let me pay less. Well I was quite surprised when I got a phone call this morning informing me that I should not stick cause Beachouse will be complimentary this year! Well boy I went and fix up one time!!

My squad move EARLY cause last year the traffic was ridiculous going up in the east. I think we kinda overdid it cause we practically open the party. In hindsight this was both good and bad.We park almost in front the gate to the party.Point to note, Bmobile have no service up there!! Well at least only in specific areas of the property. Apparently Digicel did.So if yuh eh organise where to meet yuh squad, yuh will have to walk around the party looking for them. At the time we reach, the djs did not seem to be ready nor were the food or the bars. We had to wait awhile for them to finish tying up ends so we could get something. They changed the whole orientation of the party and had a huge stage set up for the performances.I hit that food one time.As it was early and not too many people were there yet we were able to get everything we wanted in no time. Later on in the night it was next to impossible to get food. If is one thing, the food was besssssst. All kind of thai chicken ,roast pork,seafood melody ,bhagi rice, jerk, doubles,soup,roast beef,wonton ,ribs etc etc. Real food and it tasted extremely good. I would love to know who cater that dance!All the same , fire for them for only giving you fofod on the small saucer plates and not a dinner plate.Watch nuh if I pay my $550 I want to yam dong all I can. Yeah so when they giving yuh thing , you could hardly fit anything on the plate and still have to come back over and over again.I felt like I was being rationed. I doh know what is the motivation behind that move. I also noticed that instead of having big tents with buffet lines. They had several smaller stations set up side by side. I doh understand that either. Cause to me it made the congestion even worse than last year cause nobody really knew how the line was supposed to form. The table wide enough to form more than one line directly in front the servers but at the same time yuh could form a line parallel to a server like a buffet. Lines parallell were running into all the other lines at the other stations. So then you could not tell where one line stop/start.

There were several specialty bars....Ocean Spray, Grey Goose and a Cocktail bar. All I was concerned about was the Johnny Walker and the Red Bull. Happy to say, they were all well stocked and it did not run out this year. So drinks was besssst as well.

The order for the day was white pants. Cause half the women in the party had on white pants/board shorts. Unfortunately I was one of them. I don't like looking like a set of people so . I was most annoyed when after getting a free Digicel bandana and using it to drape over every seat that I sat on, I ended up getting RED spots on the back of my WHITE pants from the logo print on the bandana. I was pissed! Well allyuh know what that look like, like somebody had a accident.STEUPS. Digicel any props allyuh get for having service allyuh lose for messing with the Diva outfit. You WILL get a dry cleaning bill from me.

In general the crowd was older than it usually is. I dunno if ppl just doh want to make that trek to Salybia now that they have an alternative. I hear Salybia was ram still by the way.Most people tried to dress nicely for the event. They were a few extremes scattered throughout. There were some who looked like they pull out the wifebeater from the back of their cupboard and some who looked like they design they own outfit and playing a mas. Many women chose to go with sun dresses both long and short. But that sun was EXTREMELY hot, I was glad I was able to stay cool in the shade which was very scarce.But really , some women need to face reality. I saw some big women in the most ridiculous attire that was both inappropriate for their age and their body type. If your belly is lapping over yuh waist band, please put on a long top cause its not cute.If your breasts are falling out the sides or the front of your top, by a bigger top. Apparently many women choose to take risks with their fashion choices assuming that Carnival is the only time they can get away with it.WRONG!! A fashion crime is a fashion crime no matter what time of the year it is.I was suprised that so many women wore heels considering how sloping the land is at Ortinola Estate.(Very nice venue) But the scenery could not compensate me for all the twist ankle and bus' meh ass I narrowly avoided.

So after trying to no avail to ketch ahead the performances kicked off. As I said they could ahve keep their bands. Only performance worth mentioning is that guy from Roy Cape..Otununji whatever he name is who does sing that song whatever it call. Destra kinda got the crowd moving. I am not a big fan of hers to begin with but she annoyed the hell out of me when she started rambling on stage about her incident in Bacchanal Wed last night.If you have not heard,apparently some man in the audience threw something at Destra while she was on stage. She got really upset (close to tears supposedly) and leggo some cuss behind the man live on the stage. Well yuh know the bacchanalist radio djs blowing her up all day on air. So she coem today rambling about the incident saying that although it was not right what she did that she was reacting to the man who pelt her.Which to me just sounds like she was trying to justify it anyway.So she publically apologized to "all she fans" and her sponsor Digicel. She go be real sorry if she lose that Digicel money lolol. How she going and pay for she new Benz SUV? Well as she say, everybody is human. I would have cuss the man the same way if he pelt me oui.

So the lime was good, I never get to go back for food. Or rather I tried and failed. Doubles run out all kinda ting. Party wrapped up about 8pm but they continued playing music till after 10. It was real traffic to get out the dance even though they put no parking signs along the road in, punks STILL parked.

Overall party was good. Economically you COULD have gotten your monies worth but I personally feel as a person who physically does not over eat or drink I would have gotten mine. I also think that although they gave you more in terms of entertainment, they held back on the food with the rations.

So in light of what I witnessed today ppl word for today is....
Storm: To gate crash any paying function
As in.. I am sure them girls storm the party.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

RIP Granny Jumbie

I am a little embarrassed that I did not post this yesterday...Every Bacchanal Wed I think of my Granny Jumbie who passed away a few years ago on a Bacchanal Wed. My grandmother was the original Carnival Jumbie. She used to make costumes for entire sailor bands back in the day before the "pretty mas" came to be. As a result all my dad and aunts and uncles know how to cut and sew a pants.On a carnival monday or tuesday when all the kids got dropped of by the jumbie parents who gone to play mas she was real dread cause once that TV turn onto the parade of bands you were risking certain death by trying to change the channel! WHOLE day is parade of bands, even when they start to show the repeat for the day. And when mom and dad reach back, they not leaving till they see their band crossing the stage.
I will always remember the day she died , most of my family was in the country for the Carnival. Her death was expected as she was both very old and sick. We were all sad nonetheless (obviously) but after mourning for the day my cousins and I found ourselves outside the wake pondering whether it would look bad or not for us to go in the Bacchanal Wed out of respect. Trinis and their Carnival yes! My whole family is a bunch of Jumbies. Well after feeling out the parents we figured they would not dig a horrors and we went although it put a damper on things. But in the discussion we did touch on the fact that my granny would have wanted us to go. She was so into the mas that she would not have wanted to see us miss out. Of course the same discussion was had when we were deciding if to play mas or not. My mom was making us feel guilty that we wanted to play (even though it was her mother-in law who died, not her mom). My dad set her straight one time. He was going down the road! Well yuh know me, If my father could go down the road right after his mom's death then who is me ? So me and my father went down the road . But again, I don't think my granny would have wanted it any other way. She always looked forward to that parade and seeing she ppls on tv. So I just wanted to pay a little tribute to the old school granny jumbie,bless her soul, for starting the family tradition. I always make sure and take a wine for her on the stage. I sure she rolling in her grave now that there is no stage!RIP Granny Jumbie!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Eyes Wide Shut (*yawn*)

Really and truly I find the whole pre-Carnival party scene is pretty whack this year. I am holding out hope upon hope that next year will not be the same. I did not party as much as I usually do becaue I saving my money but when I do go out I am a bit disgruntled that I even wasted the outfit.
Well we get the 'S' early that Machel would be performing early so we ditch the people who were sticking and hurry up the road. Well I never know this party was going and be so popular this year. I eh know if is cause there was not much to do last night or if Glow get too bougie for the ghetto youths with that "Pose" shit. But can I tell you it had REAL ppl park in EVERY street aurrounding the Oval. Usually I would get a park on a side street just after the oval. This year I move earlier than usual and closest park I get was by Hooters there on Rust Street. So we had a nice little walk to get to the party.

In making my rounds and seeing the kind of skettel outfits parading down the street I should have expected the scene that greeted me at the party entrance.When I reach by the Oval, the whole of Elizabeth St was block off with people in the road. A set of scalpers selling tickets for $300 and more (ticket price was $150 pay drinks).Usually I would classify this party as a 'uptown fete' but not this night nuh. Real characters was liming outside the party looking like they was gearsing up to find their way inside. I passing and all i getting is "DAH LIN", "REDS", "SWEETNESS". So much so that my friend (very uptown) who has never been ask me if I sure this is an uptown fete and if we should sell we ticket and go home. I can't tell you how close I came to that and in hindsight I would have make some much needed cash.

Apparently when we reach they were not letting in people for some reason. It have lanes marked off for men and women to enter and everybody was in one big jam by the door mix up. Well boy, as we pressing forward Machel come on the stage and I felt the whole mob push forward to rush the gate. A little bit again and people was going and get step on. Of course just inside the gate security was confused cause they wanted to search everybody. Since the lines were already mixed up thsi caused more congestion when man had to go left and woman had to go so. I waited patiently for someone to pretend to search me and realised that nobody was taking me on, so I walked in. Along with a lot of other people I might add. Then I realised, I doh even remember this party having so much security in times past. I doh know if its because of the changing times or the changing crowd.

So Machel on the stage and it RAM with people. I get close up on one side after dredging thru the mass of ppl. Machel's performance was not as good as I have seen him in recent times. He performed a lot of newer songs that seemed unfamiliar to most people. As a result the crowd was very unresponsive at times.(i.e when he was not singing Jumbie). My camera phone is crap so I did not get pics though I was close up. I was regretting it later on when one of the groupie girls in front put on a show for everybody. So the doolahin leaning over the barrier in the front of the stage and my first thought was that all she tut tuts going and fall out the super low cut top she had on. All this playing out on the big screen eh. Well yuh know Machel notorious for letting girls feel he up while he performing. Well the Doolahin was not going to disappoint. After some blatant crotch grabbing , she began to gyrate her head in his crotch area and went further to simulate fellatio (look it up).Aye we still on the big screen. Well he make a turn, sing two songs and reach back by the Doolahin. Well then she start all over with the show. Now I eh know if she was drunk off she ass or what but I would have get put out my house for how she was getting on. Now this is a woman eh look like no smallie either. I tell my friend is best I bring a video camera to tape and sell some of this porno online. She start again with the fellatio charade..then she went so far as to stick her tongue between her fingers and simulate cunnilingus (look it up).. Of course Mr.Machel was all to happy to encourage and oblige. He hit her some shot in her face with his crotch and there was her head again rolling in his crotch. I think the whole display turned off a lot the crowd especially women. Expressions of disgust were tantamount (i getting on like a dictionary today eh). He finished his set in a big way and teh crowd in the end was hyped up. His performance was ok generally but like most I was not impressed by the display.

So after watching the live soft porn we went to get a drink. Boy the bar was the WORST. On top of having a chit system with only two chit booths the bar was poorly stocked by Carib Bars. Not a LLB was had inthe place. Not a sorrel shandy, not a red bull.What is this new "Battery' crap? Imitation red bull? Wait! Not a Johnny Walker!!! Not a cranberry juice to go with the vodka. I was right up on the bar from teh get go.After waiting for nearly 20 minutes at the highly understaffed bar to be attended to I nearly turn over the bar when the man tell me $30+ $10 =$50. And the man INSISTING that it is so.STEUPS. Needless to say I spend $20 alone that night.

We take a little walk to check out the scenes which was difficult because of the congestion in certain areas. Saucy perform and like she only sing "Bicycle Wine" because before I knew it she was gone. If it was 10-20 minutes it was plenty. KMC came on after and by this time my back was to the stage. I just lime with my friends. Afew people around me independantly commented that real people were going to get rob that night just based on some of the movements of certain groups of people. Of course they were all dressed in black.The party usually finishes early regardless.Shortly thereafter we looked to make a move home before the rush of ppl. I was home in my bed before 4am.

So overall the party was ok. And I only giving it ok cause it had Machel present in the dance , otherwise it would be a worst party. I glad I put down a recycle outfit yes.

Word for today is Bacchanal...cause its Bacchanal Wednesday! As in...

Carnival is real Baccchanal!

I eh walk with the dictionary today so I doh have the official definition right this second. But we all know it is a synonym for confusion.I will edit it later cause I type this whole article in the ppl wuk. (Doh ask me to work for Carnival)

The official definition:
Bacchanal : Public row, scandal,Bobol,quarreling.Big fete.Confusion.Bacchus Roman name for Dionysus,Greek mythology deity of bacchanalia-religious wine festivals.

I guess is true then, Carnival is BACCHANAL!

Friday, February 09, 2007

D' Canal swimmer

Nah allyuh, somebody send me this and I almost dead laughing. Its a video clip of a vagrant swimming in a canal on Charlotte St. Check the link. Dread the man squirting water out he mouth lolololol. Nah! Turn on the audio (buh not too loud!) True Trini reaction! This is to entertain allyuh while you waiting for the day to collect yuh costume.

Canal Swimmer

Oh and word for today...

Spranger: Cocaine addict, thief. See piper

As in this man HAD to be a spranger!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Not on allyuh

Allyuh know I am NOT amused about TRIBE distributing my section on Carnival Friday!! I eh know if I should be very afraid or very relieved. Afraid cause maybe something off with the costume and they eh want to give me time to cuss them and I won't have the time to get it fixed properly. MAYBE the costume is fine and is all of allyuh who distributing early who may have problems. Maybe everything is ok and they just do shit by distributing the week before Carnival.

Now I am not a stranger to this last minute thing at all. In my Poison days I used to get my costume at 7am every Carnival Saturday..regardless of where I went the night before. That is what I had to do to get something free so I did it. Then it had my last year in Poison when I play in Discomania and they distribute Carnival Saturday and did get rough up from me. The girl watching me and telling me I have $400 more for them than what I walk with because she have me registered in the lead section and not the floor section. Doh mind my reciept clearly stated floor section. Yuh know I tell them that is their ass business and they better find a costume for me. Yuh could not even tell the difference ..other than the beads were a little longer and it was more expensive. The girl actually give me attitude like I should just pay the extra.I fix that.

But like I spoiled now. I have never had any issues with my costume collection in terms ofthe day /time before. I make noise last year when I paid off in advance and still found myself in a long line with others who had not paid. I fix that too. I got pulled out the line and out of there in 10 minutes. Hopefully we won't have a repeat of that again.Or I will have to fix it again.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think they started distribution earlier last year..or was I just one of the first costumes?Really and truly they should start distribution two weeks before Carnival so that people have time to sort out their buisnes with accesories and costume problems etc. That week before Carnival could be just for foreign masqueraders.Now hopefully I won't have any problems to fix with my costume but I doh have much costume to speak of.My friends who signed up in Jamette, signed up with the intention of altering the costume.I eh know what they planning to do but I hear they wanted to get rid of the ruffle completey and change it to beads. Now I know they have a good mas maker in their trenches but still, that is a lot of work (x4!) for a short space of time. At least we go find out the order of the sections tomorrow....

So in light of today's costume revelation the Cote Ci Cote La phrase/word for today is....(Drum roll)

Play Wid me! : A threat, meaning you are not to be played or toyed with or taken lightly

As in my costume better be ready to go, TRIBE better doh play wid me!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Freshwater Yankee Books

I know allyuh from foreign going and reach just now. So in addition to the red mango, Mabel's mauby and roti allyuh carrying back up the road I thought I would share with you some of my favourite Trinidad Souvenir Books. Aye, I was a tourist for four years while I was in school in the States so I know!!I went with all these items when I left and came back with them!

Well my all time favourite is the book "Cote Ci, Cote La" by John Mendes. An article in yesterday's Trinidad Guardian announced the relaunch of the book which was not available for some time in bookstores.If they say so but I can't understand that cause my mother buy a new "Millenium Edition" last month. (see pic).The book is a Dictionary of Trinidad and Tobago. It has definitions of words and phrases and the whole language used by us everyday that for some reason only other Trinis understand. Let me tell you, anyone who is a Trini or who wants to share their culture with another person HAS to own this book. Not only is it hilarious but it is informative.For instance Cote ci Cote La definies the word "Frouzy" as smelly,unkempt,unwashed or stale.and "Brokodong" as broken down/ dilapadated. If you were not sure about the differnce between "Eh-Heh" and "Eh-Eh"..this book will clear it up for you. Maybe all these criminals in Trini should remember 'God doh sleep'. You get the idea. What I like about this book is that the new millienium edition has a lot of extra history and explainations of Trinidad in between. It has sections with just French Creole words and Indian words.It is also in full colour with lots of pictures and illustrations. I feel from now on I go give a word of the day yes, this shit is too funny.There is also an entire section devoted to Carnival. Unfortunately, Dragon is not mentioned although it is clearly a character in Ole Mas. But Jumbie is!! It is defined as a spirit or ghost.Mischievous or malevont spirit,creature or person. Pan jumbie is defined as a lover of pan.So you know what that makes me...So this book can be purchased online for those who eh get it in local books stores...check the link.The ISBN is 9789768193662 if you want to search online.

Ok doh laugh! This is my pic of the next tourist must have! The ORIGINAL Naparima Girls Cook Book. Oh gosh I sure everybody have one in their house. It have every Trini dish that you could ever think of cooking. When yuh living in foreign without mummy..this is a lifesaver!!! I believe there is a new edition on sale currently. So it doh look like this now. But we eh get around to updating this like we update the Cote Ci Cote La. I don't know if the new edition has a ISBN or not but the old edition does not. The book was literally created as a celebration of the school's Diamond Jubilee.

This next one has been entertaining me since I was a child. I love reading this book over and over.Its called 'Folklore and Legends of Trinidad and Tobago" by Gerard Besson. Its an absolute must have for the full history and legends behind all of our local folklore tales which is our Trini "Ghost Stories". I am sure it have at least one story in here that you never heard of before. It is also filled with colour illustrations and some other background on local traditons eg. stick fighting. My favourites are the La Diablesse and the Soucouyant. The best part aboutthis book is that it tells you how to avoid or free yourself from teh clutches ofthese creatures should you ever come across them. Doh laugh!! I have a friend who SWEAR he see a La Diablesse by Diego Martin KFC!So if you think you might meet one on your way home from party you have to take off all your clothes, turn them inside out and put them on again. And yuh safe! LOLOL. I love this country! The Guardian actually had a series of "Ghost Stories" where they investigated several old and modern day tales. One modern one would be about that ladyin white on the highway in south near the cremation site by the sea. She like to jump on peopel car and cause them to run off the road. The area is notorious for bouncidents and ppl again will SWEAR they see her. I for one will not be driving south in the night in my life again.This book also does not have an ISBN but I actually saw a used copy selling on amazon.com for $65 US!! ahmmm I think I pay like $20TT but that was a few years back. It definitely is not that expensive in Trinidad cause its only like 40 pages with big print.

You should also look into "The Book of Trinidad and Tobago" by the same author which is a fabulous coffee table book for any proud Trini.It is a big hardcover book with a full history of the country. I was pleasantly suprised to find record of my family name in the book.Thats kinda cool! I however have been sticking to buy the damn thing for ages. Right now its like $300 TT!! I am sure it may have gone up since I last check...must buy it soon!!

I am really plugging these few selections here because I would hate to see the history and culture of our ancestors just fade out with the modern age. My granny was fluent in french creole, my mom used to speak it as a child...yuh think I know anything more than 1 or two common words??? noooooooo! I saw an article in the Guardian (ok yeah, I does real read papers) about the lost language ofteh people of Santa Cruz. And basically they were saying the same thing, there are people in Trinidad who are very old and DON'T speak English as a first language. They speak creole and people don't understand them and the language is not passed on from parent to child. Then it just evaporates.

I had a long conversation with some friends in Jamaica and they were literally astonished about all the folklore stories I could tell. I telling them about Papa Bois and the Duenes in detail and they were like WTF! In their (the same as mine)generation the history has already been lost.My friend's dad was also telling me that although he knows of a few stories that their generation was at fault for not passing on traditions. You would only find such rich history among the Maroons of Jamaica.Trinidadians are by FAR one of the more superstitious countries of the Caribbean and it is partly because we have all grown up with at least one of the stories. I would like to keep our culture alive with tradition and its history for nothing else than to preserve it for generations to come.

p.s Fresh water Yankee: A person who recently migrated to the U.S.A and back home for a visit, who now speaks with an affected American accent.Originally one who acquired the 'Yankee' accent without leaving freshwater,(Not even crossing the seas) or by simply visiting the U.S Base at Chaguaramas, or the U.S Embassy!*

* yuh went Piarco for doubles and come back with an accent

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Doh ask me to work for Carnival (Or the week before)

So all now so I supposed to be doing the ppl wuk. But I I really online waiting for the email from TRIBE to tell me when to come fro my costume.LOL. My boss decide yesterday that the office too 'quiet' and get put a radio in the office. I doh know what make him feel that by putting it on Red 96.7 with soca playing whole day and bmobile concerts in Woodford square broadcasting everyday will make me do any work. I think I doing less work now than before he put the radio. Usually I doh start shutting down till maybe this Friday coming (2 weekends before Carnival). But he speed up the process with that move there. There is a REASON I take vacation for Carnival...cause I does nothing. I does just be studying costume, accesories, fete, wining etc etc. So thats his bad....he just lose 5 productive days from me. This is after sending everybody home early Friday on account of me, he tell everybody that I have to get ready to go fete this weekend.

To add to the whole debacle, we jokingly made a comment in the team meeting about when the company all inclusive is. He said hey, good idea. Well me and my next partner in crime say we think Cranival Sunday is a good day, specifically Lara Fete. Boy, the man say organise yes, find out if they giving package deals. If he call Lara tickets for the whole office..well boy , is now I making mas. On top of which....!!!! He call Ash Wednesday a public holiday. By now you can guess the kind of slacker I have for a boss. Good for me, I get back one of the days vacation that I file for seeing that he giving everyone anyway.

Well for those of you who doh have vacation, or have to work for the Carnival...I hope you sort out your plan of action from now. All now so yuh telling yuh co worker yuh neighbour have chicken pox and yuh "hope" you eh get it. I touch on this topic already in my other post where I nearly trip on the "big boss" for insinuating that Carnival was not a holiday.I eh know what the big boss going and say when he find out we spend he money on all inclusive tickets and the office shut down for Carnival. LOLOLOL

As far as I concern, I on vacation from now!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

D' Original Jumbie!

So I hope here chillin cause I not in the Panorama. I fgured I would take the opportunity to clarify something. I am the ORIGINAL Carnival Jumbie. Some of you who now jump on the blog bandwagon may think I decided to be Carnival Jumbie after Machel Montano go and sing a song called Jumbie for 2007. Lets get it straight, I was born a Carnival baby, I was brought up a Carnival baby and became a Carnival Jumbie after my first Mas playing experience in '95. I feel I have a responsibility to my family to carry on the Carnival Legacy . You can also check out those pics here.

When I started this blog last September, I picked the tag Carnival Jumbie simply cause it really was the best name to describe my personality and the purpose of the blog. Any of my friends can tell you that all through the year I am very calm and collected in parties, even bougie (the Diva) and as Carnival reach my party personality changes (The Jumbie) cause is then I dancing whole night. There is NO WAY I could possibly have anticipated at that point that Machel would be releasing a tune with the same name.
Although I had nothing to do with influencing the creation of the song, I can still appreciate that I now have a theme song!The song definitely embraces my passion for Carnival and the excitement that is steadily increasing as we draw nearer to the big day.
So best believe , I have dibs on THAT copyright. In light of all this and the fact that Carnival is a mere 2 weeks away, the Diva is going into hibernation and the Jumbie is coming right out so I will be dropping the Diva from my tag as of today. So we ready for mas again!.Jumbie dem!!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Ladies First Review

From the time you put a party in Chaguramas it does turn me off. It inevitably means 20 mins or more of traffic will have to be endured. So last night with "Ladies First" in Pier 1 and 'Barbarossa Cooler Fete" being held in St.Anthony's Grounds I figured we were in for it. (Aside though...they even have a band called Barbarossa again?? How they could still be having fetes??).
Well it so happen that I gave a friend's little sister a drop down into Diego on my way home. I should have gotten another clue right there....They were going to Ladies First and were heading to the party at 7pm. Doh mind Party start 9pm. As you may or may not know, the gimmick with Ladies First is that they give out a limited number of invites to women so that if you reach before a certain time you get in free.I am usually fortunate enough to have one sent to me. Last year was 11pm, this year was 10:30 pm. So you have to leave home early enough to compensate for the traffic and reach there before 10:30pm.It is usually a decent party since they have all the big bands as well as Machel..and its free free free. There is no way in hell I was paying $250 to go in that party (no free drinks) which is what it reach up to. However I never went a party so early in my life! In the past we have had to struggle through the night cause in my old age I can't party from 10am to 5am again. I does be yawning by 1:30am.

So my friend had link me earlier to say she wanted to drive and pick up the squad (great for me!). Well at 8pm I still can't reach her. When I eventually did, she was completely clueless on the drama to get down there before 10:30pm. She have ticket to sell and still have to go home in the east and change.So we was sticking already. I put on my Plan B outfit one time cause I say if we eh make t I not wasting the better outfit. We finally got on the road at 9:45pm and although reports assured us that traffic was light, we still bounce up congestion going into Carenage by Westmoorings light. Being best traffic ducker....I tell her swing through Bayshore one time and we cut at least 15 mins off we traffic time. Traffic moved pretty quickly were it not for the Sunday drivers who were driving at 20km/h for no reason like they have nowhere to go before 10:30. At 10:10pm we were in the pier1 carpark . I just have got another clue when I saw the guy parking in the car next to me. He could barely see over the steering wheel and looked like he was 12. I had more things to study so we head to the door. I was expecting a back up cause what Johnny(Soong) does do every year is tell people come before 11pm and stick yuh by the door for half hour. But all went smoothly and we was easily inside with time to spare!

Of course at this hour the party was scanty. But I immediately realised that I was surrounded by 'smallies'. By smallies I mean, ppl who have a curfew and still have exams to do in June. Well I figured it was still early and if you are a smallie, you have to be out the house at a decent hour (like 9pm whether yuh say where yuh was really going or not) and yuh have to lie and say yuh sleeping by (insert friend with wayward parents here) so they eh go know what time you really reach home.And not just smallies but REAL MAN. I doh understand how a party that have 2000 female comps could have so much man. All when we parking, just car loads of man!No correction..boys. I was further not amused to see that they had moved the location of the party from the boardwalk side to the carpark. It really took the atmosphere of the party down a few notches.

Soon after we reach Kees and the Band came on stage. I think Kees performances usually just serve to kill time till the big bands reach. Their biggest downfall is that they don't have their own songs. They might have one or two for the season but they whole performance is based on covers of other people's songs. Kees was particularly annoying last night because as he sang the ppl songs he was trying to sound like the singer. So he sing "Cold Sweat" by Crazy and put on a voice sounding like Crazy. He sing "Black Man feeling to party" by Stalin and was singing like he impersonating Stalin.When he singing Machel tune he getting on like he is Machel. Come on Kees, get your act together, its not Las Vegas!!During the performance we were entertained bythe "Zen dancers" who made a respectable attempt to choreograph a routine. I think people were too fixated on their wining skills to be concerned if they were going in time. After making me very dizzy with their dutty wine head rotation,my friend commented "Them is the kinda girls who does take yuh man" , to which I replied "I eh know bout you but I does do them things, just behind closed doors."LOLOL. I doh play with that dutty wine though, I have back problems as it is.Rikki Jai also graced us with his prescence and was met with a somewhat indifferent crowd response.

The lapses between performances were boring as hell. At one point they were playing techno and I wanted to run out the party screaming "Its Carnival!". So I decided to occupy myself checking out the bars/facilities. So the VIP had it nice with their raised platform down one side of the venue with their own bar. The bars were pretty well spread out with the usual chit system. Doh mind they charging $25 for a red bull. Now explain to me how a red bull in club ZEN is $20 and a red bull in a outdoor party with 5,000 people put on by ZEN is $25??Not amused. Well my friend who was sticking was hungry from since we reach. We gone looking for food. NOT ONE FOOD CART in the whole place. Not a doubles, not a burger man , not a bake and shark. People pay $200+ for that ?STEUPS. Well she eventually could not take it and wanted to go outside to buy something to eat. How about they was not letting anybody leave the party? Well my friend nearly cuss up the security. If yuh go out yuh can't come back in. So while bending and screwing we gone back inside to see Shurwayne performance.

Shurwayne performance was like a time machine.Shurwayne literally perform the EXACT same performance as last year Carnival. I kid you not. He pull out the Shiv Shakti dancers and all. The only difference is that he had one more song on the end...'Open the Gate'. Apparently he just adds on his current song at the end of the performance to create his whole repertoire. I was bored out of my mind. In additionto which,on surveying the crowd, I realised that the average age was probably closer to 20 than 25. At this time it was just drunk smallies. At 12am I had already see at least one person getting throw over a man shoulder and getting tote home.Worst!

By 2am the party was painfully boring. Even attempting to amuse ourselves with the outfits was losing its appeal. OK wait wait, It had a girl who was rocking the whole long top with belt under the bust kit. I almost dead when I see she had on one belt under her waist and another narrower belt hanging on her hips. Both belts were over her top. It really doh know what she was smoking. If she was trying to be creative, she could have at least have got two of the same belts! My friend was still highly irritated with the set up and I was indifferent, my next friend was beppin but holding up. At a point we just said to ass with it and ride out. YES YES, I WAS SO BORED I LEFT BEFORE MACHEL. I have heard varying reports on Machel's performance. One said he was great other said he was shit. He apprently performed a long set which took the party pretty late. Destra was stilll left to perform after him. Which means she perform for the palm trees. I sure I was well tucked into my bed at that point cause we got home in no time with zero traffic.

I really feel that this Ladies First might be my last. I might be getting older but not so much so that I should have to be overwhelmed with kiddies. I real good, free or not free, that party just lose all strips there.

So I hope you guys enjoy your wet down/ hot sun tomorrow in the P.OS Prairies. I won't be attending unless its to storm and ride out.

Friday, February 02, 2007


Ok so I reach back in the ppl place today with money (cash!) in hand. The linx machine is now up and running. My costume is paid off yay!! I even get a credit cause apparently I can't get 3 bottom pieces even if I was paying for them.(Go figure, soimething about the system) Seeing that I have Monday wear planned out already, I ditched the hot shorts. Oh yeah , I ordered 3 cause I could never make up my mind what I want to wear on Tuesday till the morning of.
Their database is still down so manual receipts are still being given. I got thru very quickly all the same. It never have more than 3 people in their whne I go. So I guess I had the best timing.
So things in order so far, I just hope I doh have to cuss anybody come collection day.
Remember, today is the last day for payment to get into the "Express Pick up" Line. And assuming everybody doh pay early, and they actually distinguish between the areas for express pick up and regular pick up this year, it really is faster.So the time draws near ppl, get in yuh section!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

TRIBE Linx Down

Sigh, so I gone in the TRIBE mas camp today, park my car in their carpark on the left side obliquely opposite...reach inside to meet only one person in front of me. Only to be told that the phone lines were not working properly and that prsently LINX could be used.In addition they had no internet access so their database updates would not be current.Therefore you cannot get a computer generated receipt. So if you going to pay, walk with cash!! If you do pay with cash you will only receive a manual receipt (which is just as good).
There is no word on when the system will be back up, a technician has been called in. I don't get the impression that they will be extending the pre-pay deadline further because they HAVE to move to Cascadia this weekend.
Not impressed, I wasted my time going down there, cause yuh know I am the original superswiper. Who the hell wants to walk with $2000 in their pocket in these days we living in?Steups . Allyuh hear about that man who was by Republic ATM Monday and get rob as he was coming out? At 9:30 pm he get one hard lash in he head and get completely disorientated.When his family went looking for him and find him to carry him in the hospital he was dead in an hour.Read the article here. Not me papa, I never going in any ATM at night again.I does minimise my ATM visits as much as possible. Every thing does swipe.