From the time you put a party in Chaguramas it does turn me off. It inevitably means 20 mins or more of traffic will have to be endured. So last night with "Ladies First" in Pier 1 and 'Barbarossa Cooler Fete" being held in St.Anthony's Grounds I figured we were in for it. (Aside though...they even have a band called Barbarossa again?? How they could still be having fetes??).
Well it so happen that I gave a friend's little sister a drop down into Diego on my way home. I should have gotten another clue right there....They were going to Ladies First and were heading to the party at 7pm. Doh mind Party start 9pm. As you may or may not know, the gimmick with Ladies First is that they give out a limited number of invites to women so that if you reach before a certain time you get in free.I am usually fortunate enough to have one sent to me. Last year was 11pm, this year was 10:30 pm. So you have to leave home early enough to compensate for the traffic and reach there before 10:30pm.It is usually a decent party since they have all the big bands as well as Machel..and its free free free. There is no way in hell I was paying $250 to go in that party (no free drinks) which is what it reach up to. However I never went a party so early in my life! In the past we have had to struggle through the night cause in my old age I can't party from 10am to 5am again. I does be yawning by 1:30am.
So my friend had link me earlier to say she wanted to drive and pick up the squad (great for me!). Well at 8pm I still can't reach her. When I eventually did, she was completely clueless on the drama to get down there before 10:30pm. She have ticket to sell and still have to go home in the east and change.So we was sticking already. I put on my Plan B outfit one time cause I say if we eh make t I not wasting the better outfit. We finally got on the road at 9:45pm and although reports assured us that traffic was light, we still bounce up congestion going into Carenage by Westmoorings light. Being best traffic ducker....I tell her swing through Bayshore one time and we cut at least 15 mins off we traffic time. Traffic moved pretty quickly were it not for the Sunday drivers who were driving at 20km/h for no reason like they have nowhere to go before 10:30. At 10:10pm we were in the pier1 carpark . I just have got another clue when I saw the guy parking in the car next to me. He could barely see over the steering wheel and looked like he was 12. I had more things to study so we head to the door. I was expecting a back up cause what Johnny(Soong) does do every year is tell people come before 11pm and stick yuh by the door for half hour. But all went smoothly and we was easily inside with time to spare!
Of course at this hour the party was scanty. But I immediately realised that I was surrounded by 'smallies'. By smallies I mean, ppl who have a curfew and still have exams to do in June. Well I figured it was still early and if you are a smallie, you have to be out the house at a decent hour (like 9pm whether yuh say where yuh was really going or not) and yuh have to lie and say yuh sleeping by (insert friend with wayward parents here) so they eh go know what time you really reach home.And not just smallies but REAL MAN. I doh understand how a party that have 2000 female comps could have so much man. All when we parking, just car loads of man!No correction..boys. I was further not amused to see that they had moved the location of the party from the boardwalk side to the carpark. It really took the atmosphere of the party down a few notches.
Soon after we reach Kees and the Band came on stage. I think Kees performances usually just serve to kill time till the big bands reach. Their biggest downfall is that they don't have their own songs. They might have one or two for the season but they whole performance is based on covers of other people's songs. Kees was particularly annoying last night because as he sang the ppl songs he was trying to sound like the singer. So he sing "Cold Sweat" by Crazy and put on a voice sounding like Crazy. He sing "Black Man feeling to party" by Stalin and was singing like he impersonating Stalin.When he singing Machel tune he getting on like he is Machel. Come on Kees, get your act together, its not Las Vegas!!During the performance we were entertained bythe "Zen dancers" who made a respectable attempt to choreograph a routine. I think people were too fixated on their wining skills to be concerned if they were going in time. After making me very dizzy with their dutty wine head rotation,my friend commented "Them is the kinda girls who does take yuh man" , to which I replied "I eh know bout you but I does do them things, just behind closed doors."LOLOL. I doh play with that dutty wine though, I have back problems as it is.Rikki Jai also graced us with his prescence and was met with a somewhat indifferent crowd response.
The lapses between performances were boring as hell. At one point they were playing techno and I wanted to run out the party screaming "Its Carnival!". So I decided to occupy myself checking out the bars/facilities. So the VIP had it nice with their raised platform down one side of the venue with their own bar. The bars were pretty well spread out with the usual chit system. Doh mind they charging $25 for a red bull. Now explain to me how a red bull in club ZEN is $20 and a red bull in a outdoor party with 5,000 people put on by ZEN is $25??Not amused. Well my friend who was sticking was hungry from since we reach. We gone looking for food. NOT ONE FOOD CART in the whole place. Not a doubles, not a burger man , not a bake and shark. People pay $200+ for that ?STEUPS. Well she eventually could not take it and wanted to go outside to buy something to eat. How about they was not letting anybody leave the party? Well my friend nearly cuss up the security. If yuh go out yuh can't come back in. So while bending and screwing we gone back inside to see Shurwayne performance.
Shurwayne performance was like a time machine.Shurwayne literally perform the EXACT same performance as last year Carnival. I kid you not. He pull out the Shiv Shakti dancers and all. The only difference is that he had one more song on the end...'Open the Gate'. Apparently he just adds on his current song at the end of the performance to create his whole repertoire. I was bored out of my mind. In additionto which,on surveying the crowd, I realised that the average age was probably closer to 20 than 25. At this time it was just drunk smallies. At 12am I had already see at least one person getting throw over a man shoulder and getting tote home.Worst!
By 2am the party was painfully boring. Even attempting to amuse ourselves with the outfits was losing its appeal. OK wait wait, It had a girl who was rocking the whole long top with belt under the bust kit. I almost dead when I see she had on one belt under her waist and another narrower belt hanging on her hips. Both belts were over her top. It really doh know what she was smoking. If she was trying to be creative, she could have at least have got two of the same belts! My friend was still highly irritated with the set up and I was indifferent, my next friend was beppin but holding up. At a point we just said to ass with it and ride out. YES YES, I WAS SO BORED I LEFT BEFORE MACHEL. I have heard varying reports on Machel's performance. One said he was great other said he was shit. He apprently performed a long set which took the party pretty late. Destra was stilll left to perform after him. Which means she perform for the palm trees. I sure I was well tucked into my bed at that point cause we got home in no time with zero traffic.
I really feel that this Ladies First might be my last. I might be getting older but not so much so that I should have to be overwhelmed with kiddies. I real good, free or not free, that party just lose all strips there.
So I hope you guys enjoy your wet down/ hot sun tomorrow in the P.OS Prairies. I won't be attending unless its to storm and ride out.